Ooo, the sparklies

The things that sparkle in my minds eye are but a figment. A concept not yet born into creation and yet swimming there to be plucked at whim should I desire to do so. Today I spoke with my Aunt Julie. Funny thing is, she and my uncle have been divorced for years. Yet, my Aunt Julie she will always remain. There are some things that cannot be changed even when marriage does. There will always be people - past and present - who affect your life. For good or for worse. I have so many memories of my Aunt Julie. All of them good. I cannot remember a time in my life that I haven't thought of her or spoken of her to someone. She is a wonderful woman and the mother of my cousin Matthew. It sounds as though I might get to see Matthew not this weekend, but next weekend. That would be most enjoyable. When I was younger, family seemed like such a fickle thing. It seemed that they would never leave me alone and were always telling me what was best in their opinion. Now that I am older, I thank God for giving me my family. Shattered and broken as it may be, it is mine and I adore each of my family members for my own reason. Each are beloved by me, for this and that, but one things remains true. They are my family - and they Sparkle.

Thank you

I appreciate you guys allowing me something of my delusional world. Really. Though why my sister is now a BLONDE, I don't think I want to know. Blonde doesn't do her justice, except now she has an excuse to be an airhead. Speaking of air, perhaps Sandcatt ought to give her the gift He and Tiger gave me when I was fifteen. I think it's about time for something like that. But, that's just my lowly opinion.

While I highly doubt anyone who actually 'saw' me still remains in Yuma..-ahem- I must say you guys just won't allow me my delusions will you? Just one?! A girl's gotta have some kind of fantasy world and you guys are really causing me issues on having one of my very own. Of course, keeping with the wonderful tradition of who's innocent and who isn't...I know you guys very well and know that neither of you can claim what I tried to claim either. So I guess that makes me a little happier in my delusional mind. At least for the time being. Guess I'll have to come up with something else that you guys might actually let me hold onto. Like, me being good in bed, or yes I am a natural red-head. Really...I need something here.

Muhahaha!!!

Well then.......

While I realize Foo's dishwasher might have worked just fine. But, Foo says - It was prone to malfunctioning. Hence our dependancy on a machine. Though I appreciate My dear Sandcatt's concern for Foo. I'm sure He'll make it somehow HA! If nothing else, it gives me a huge place to dry washed dishes at. Which is kinda cool. As far as my little sisters comment, I'm not smoking anything! I'm a well behaved Catholic girl and I would NEVER EVER do anything like that. Infact, I don't think I've ever done anything harsher than a cigarette. -wicked grin-

-tap tap- "Is this thing on?"

Just making sure. After all, wouldn't want to have some sort of equipment malfunction that made this thing useless. That would suck, truly. Today, I got a dishwasher. That was really the highlight of my day. Mainly because that means I no longer HAVE to wash dishes by hand. Praise the Lord. Can I get an AMEN?!

-ahem- Alright, now that that moment is over, I return you to your regularly schedualed program.

P.S. Thank you to the Artist for the picture!

The Sun, it shines way too bright

Once more I am woken up at early AM by a feline (in heat) because she won't stop yowling at the top of her lungs. Kurai ( Cry-ee ) is driving me insane! I plan on getting her fixed and declawed in the next few months, and find myself wondering if Vets do take vocal cords too. Due to her yowling all the time, my sleep has been interrupted for a week now. Every few hours she wakes me up by screaming. Damn Cat. Hopefully she'll shut up soon and I can get a few hours uninterrupted sleep. At least, I'm hoping. I think I'm coming down with a cold too. My brain feels kind of fuzzy. Course, that might just be the total lack of true sleep I experiance. Enjoyed my bowl of frosted flakes while watching the sun rise. An experiance I wish I didn't have to say I saw. I'm more of a night person you see. Lack of sun, the silence. I enjoy it. Besides, the heat of the day doesn't do my Irish complexion any justice. Just ask anyone who's seen me toasty fried thanks to that big glowing ball of rays. Today...Steam cleaning the only carpet in my home. Which oddly enough is in my kitchen. How bizzare is that? Ahh well, life spins on.

So it is, so it was.....

So things continue to spin. My life here in Hicksville seems to be doing great. I like my life and the way things are going. Yet, I must wonder what God has in store for me. Will all cycles repeat? Likely the answer is yes. Much like the way bell bottoms came back, so will the things I thought once buried. I must analyze them. I must be sure that this is the way things are meant to be. If I do not believe so, then I must improve upon them. Once and for all. The past can no longer haunt me, for I am a willing warrior. I desire to face it down and make known my stand.

Plucking petals...

Alright all you Dolls and Cats - it's another wonderful day. The sun is shining. The air is crisp from a nice chill in the air. The squirrels are running off with acorns from my back yard...and all is chipper and cheery. I hope everything is equally as happy and cheery in your neck of the woods. Be they Mexico or Alaska. Colorado or the Bermuda Triangle. Today is a tribute to you my wonderful friends. Today is your day! Go out there, make it. Conquer the hill and laugh in the face of those that can't handle what you bring. After all, a little healthy competition isn't really a bad thing...is it?

Another day........

So, some people think that it's alright to tell a pregnant woman what she's having before she even knows. That it's ok to gloat over the verdict and what it is, or isn't. This, I am ashamed to tell you...isn't true. We don't care if your thoughts were right. We could honestly care less if you are thrilled about the verdict or can't stand it. All we honestly care about at this current stage is that the baby we are carrying. The life inside US that causes us cramps, morning sickness, stretch marks and all sorts of hormone problems...is HEALTHY. Above all, that is what should matter to the rest of the population as well. Unfortunately, there are those of you who will continue to gloat and rub things in faces where it shouldn't be. Do not doubt however, that come your time for this joyful little experiance, that we have been where you are now...and that we will take such things with a bit more sensativity. I would suggest, if there is a pregnant person in your life, you approach things with a bit more tact and sensativity then you do now. If possible.

Moving on - I am 24 weeks along. Half way through my pregnancy. Still having morning sickness that lasts all day. I'm on medication for it, since it's the only way I seem to be able to eat anything of real substance. I have managed somehow to learn to tolerate drinking water. Now, mind you I still believe that it's not exactly the most tasty of things to drink..however it seems to keep me hydrated enough to not be a pain in the butt. As for the cravings that most women say they have...I can't say the same. All I crave, truly, is comfort and sleep. Though there are things I'd rather not have to smell if someone wants to eat them near me. Onions are a huge NO NO at the moment.

Annoying little sisters are seemingly doing well. Though no less annoying or little. Even if we do love them. Even if we do miss them. They are still thought of as the Little Sister and will no doubt forever be held in that shadow. Sucks doesn't it?

And the verdict is in

According to pictures, and those rarely lie - including ones that were taken of people dancing in motel rooms - I am having a little girl.


Her name? Rebecca Marie


Get ready world, the Lopey has officially become a breeder LOL!

Are you ready for it?

To You, My Friends

Before I hit the hay - since it's 12:18 am here. I thought I would say Happy Valentines Day to all you crazy kids out there. Remember to love one another. Never have a fight with your spouse and go to bed angry, no matter what it takes to ensure that doesn't happen. Always say you love your spouse before you leave, you never know when God will punch your card. Remember that things will go south, it's up to you to climb the ladder back up to daylight. But most of all, remember that out there somewhere, even if it's your own mother...someone loves you.

Another beautiful morning

Since I moved, I have been up bright and early in the morning. Lost in the sea of sunrises and unable to do much about it. I suppose this isn't a bad thing, except that when I have migraines, the sun simply hurts too much for me to contemplate. Today, my only plan is to lounge around and be useless. This is possible simply because I have a cat - Nemisis - who is King of Kitty Gravity. If you don't know what Kitty Gravity is - get a cat. They'll show you. Cat's can teach us numerous things.

How to be independant
How to keep clean
How to relax even in the worst of situations
How comfortable it is to sleep upside down on some assorted piece of furniture
and most importantly - How to enjoy rolling in the dirt.

Cats - are wonderful.

Life is like applesauce.....

It has it's moments of smooth revelation. And every now and then you find a little chunk that you have to chew up.

Today, the last box went down to the basement. Empty of items owned. To be stored for later use, or to be forgotten along with the dust bunnies. I am fortunate, I am moved into my new home and everything is put away. Everything is where it should be, and I can't say I have any complaints.

So now I go curl up with a good book, most likely from the Dark Tower Series and drink hot chocolate. Adding a few marshmellows for comfort and a down comforter for the fact it's snowing and cold outside.

Adieu Mon Ami '

Regret!?

Does that mean He regrets meeting me. Marrying me. The seperation? The Divorce? The time I cried at a friends birthday? The arguements? Or the pan to the head? Which part does He regret? All or none?

Is it so wrong to say I do not regret any of it? Is it wrong of me to say that I loved Him then. That He could stand so strong and teach me so many things..tattooing, artwork, comic books and even yes...what not to ever cook again. Is it so wrong to say I do not regret Him, above all, being my first?

He got a bum deal with me. Admittedly. I was a kid, truly. Naive and dumb to the world. I thought, and told my Grandmother, that marriage was cooking, cleaning and doing laundry. I guess I wasn't so good at it then. He got someone who'd been shattered by a dear friends death. Torn apart and likewise ruined. He got the pieces. He got jipped...and knowing that, I know His regret. It pains me to know that someone I hold so high in regard admits such to His past. But, in these eyes, He is still the Wise Tufted one. The one who set me on my path to whatever was to come. The one who cared for me, when I thought the world was out to get me. I am sorry He regrets Me. Of that, I cannot change...I can only pray that He understands that in His regret He is alone. For I am only thankful for knowing Him. Even when it hurt.

So it is said.........

After reading another post and sitting in contemplation I wonder if I could do more. If perhaps somehow my choices in my own sordid past had anything to do with the way others wound up. I doubt it, though there is that little voice that says otherwise.

I am happy with my life, my house, my family.

Yet I worry about friends..old and new. Those who when I needed them during my younger years were there for me. Those who stood up against people who would hurt me. Those who taught me it was alright to fight for myself, and therefore be myself.

I wonder how I can help them. What can I do to make the world better for them in the end. How can I wipe away tears and listen to frustrations? It is simply that...a task as a friend I take willingly. That should they ever need me..I am here. Whatever that may bring, whatever that might cost. I have an open door, and open arms for those of my past who might desire someone to talk to. Need of food. Or shelter from the raging storm.

I end only by saying Thank You to those of you who knew me in my younger years. Those who stood by me no matter the horrid choices I made. Those who protected and guided me. Thank you for always being there right when I needed you. I can ask for no better friends..nor would I desire to trade any of you for the world. I say no names, for those of you that read this will know if it's you. You will know that you've impacted my life...Forever.

I must admit...

I had to comment on the wonderful comment from dear old Sandcatt. How Sweet it is of the old Tufted one to remember certain things. But, I still admonish my innocence. For indeed, I am just that. At least, I was more so when I was the Bug-ling's age. Once, upon a time, a great many years ago. I seem to remember a Tufted one having to teach me some tricks. Or will He deny that He was part of my walk into diabolical sins. HA!


That's alright, I still thank Him for my survival. Blessed I am indeed.


And no, it's not opposite day. It's just...well...ok it's Opposite Day.

Wise mouthed kids -

I truly don't think she learned such horrid language from Me! After all, I have no potty mouth. In the words of someone wise I once knew.

I'm an innocent, God loving, Christianized, Virgin Girl.


Sugar doesn't melt in this mouth.


- props tarnished halo on head -

So Katie you see, I am an angel. And no one can disprove it. -grin-

Another Journal?! Oh darnit!

I should sue my kid sister for introducing me to this thing. As if I didn't have enough live journals to drown a small rat. Ahh well, I suppose life could be far worse. Mainly, I started this one so I could post moronic commentary to my kid sister's blog. HA! She's in for it now! This will teach her to include her big sister in something like that. Now I can tease, torture and hold things over her head, LONG DISTANCE, and over the internet. The joy's of being the eldest.