In the end

I suppose in the end it's all the same anyway. Perhaps I am suffering from the 'baby blues' and nothing more. Easter sunday was spent mainly in a funk. I was terribly homesick and not quite sure how to pull myself out of the doom and gloom that had settled on me since I woke up. Today however, I find myself in a much better mood. Or at least compared to yesterday. I managed to clean the entire house ( again ) a job that never quite seems to be finished. Of course, with all wood floors you can feel the dirt simply by walking. Something I can't stand. I did dishes, laundry, made the beds and rearranged the living room. Yet I find myself thinking of the holidays. The time spent with loved ones and enjoying their company. My only consolation is that in December I will be returning to Colorado to visit that family. To enjoy their company and spread the Yule tide cheer. Too bad in my mind it is too far away to wait. To long a wait for a heart that already misses those she loves. I love my life out here in the rural countryside. I wouldn't change it for anything. Except maybe to have my family close to me. My half brother is only 3 hours away. Yet even Him I do not see. Despite plans to the contrary. My little sister is supposed to come out in June or July. I find myself looking forward to such a visit. Yet I'm scared about getting my hopes up and it not happening. As so often is the case. I can only hope my 'blue' mood disappears soon. I hate being in a funk and not being able to figure out quite why.